"Its happening..."

God told Loretta and me early in our marriage that we would be like parents to more than just our own kids. At the time I was excited about the thought and had a "yes" in my spirit. Then the proverbial rubber hit the road. I started thinking wrong and "talking trash" to myself.

Since a couple of weeks ago when the Holy Spirit showed me that I had accepted the thought that "I don't want to be a father anymore" some things have really changed.

I'm posting this because its about God's ways and faithfulness. It was His idea to begin; all I did was respond.

Anyway, I confessed to God that I was tired of fathering and I just wanted to be left alone. Basically God said, "Oh, well..." And that's when I got this new level of understanding about the crosses in our lives. I knew the solution was to take those thoughts and attitudes and put them, with myself, on the cross. I realized, that very day, that the crosses we are called to "take up" are simple acts of obedience to the will of God.

A cross to bear is not a child or person who troubles me or a circumstance that I don't want to be in. The cross is where I put my bothered and inconvenienced flesh. Its not my job to identify the people and circumstances that bug me and change them. Its my calling to crucify the flesh that gets bothered.

So since that day, when I responded correctly, (thank you, Holy Spirit, for the grace to respond correctly), something has changed. There is a new ability to deal with my family and an excitement about seeing people in our house. It seems like our house is becoming one of those places where kids want to hang out. I always wanted that, until people came over; then I'd get all grumpy about the work and mess. Now I don't care; I mean, I don't care as much as I used to (change is a process, right?).

When Timothy came over yesterday to pick up the boys he noticed all the shoes by the front door and told me later, "When I saw all the shoes I thought to myself, 'Its happening.'"